AHMP: The Treasure of Dracula

Subject: The Treasure of Dracula
(aka El tesoro de Drácula; El vampiro y el sexo).
1969, Dir. René Cardona.

Preliminary remarks:

First off, The Treasure of Dracula is one of the weakest titles I've ever seen for a horror movie.  Not one of the worst, but certainly one of the weakest.  It's incredible how the addition of just one word can ruin everything.  Here, it's the addition of the word 'treasure'.  Pft.  Fool ain't got no mothafuckin' treasure.  He's Dracula.  Badass like that don't need no treasure.  That would be like taking the 1931 Dracula and adding in something like 'Bram Stoker's' to the front of it.  Not necessary.  Some things can stand on their own two feet.

ANALYSIS:

The only thing I hate more than vampires are jaundiced vampires.  Mexican vampires are known for their problems with gallstones.  Better go see a doctor, you blood suckin' motherfucker.

Even Dracula and his treasure have respect for Santo, as revealed in his power amulet's reference to Santo's eyes.  Face masks, jaundice...it's all about the eyes with these guys.

"Step off, bitch!  I must wear this mask always.  I find you so boring, I snore while I'm awake, too."

Mexicans work very hard, and thus have no energy left for thoughtful name-giving.

Dracula may be a lot of things, but he's not unfair.  At least he's giving this girl a chance to escape with these loose chains.  Oh, yeah...she's probably heavily drugged with jaundice by now.  Nevermind.

Movie Trivia Time: Santo's grandma quilted this title together by hand.

"I've never killed anyone before, Captain.  I find this to be highly illogical...but fascinating."

Conclusion: nice composition, it's got some atmosphere going for it, but it's still lacking.  Even with the presence of wrestling, one could still up the ante with the horror component.  C.